BOARD GAME (Bored Game)

for Matt Easton

Arthur Jarvinen March 13, 2003

Design and construct (or have designed and/or constructed) a game board "like a checker board, but with a great many more squares" (thank you Barney Childs).

Select very many objects (i.e. significantly more than are typically used in traditional board games - GO being the exception, except that in that game one has only an ample supply of identical objects available, not a variety, as will be commented on forthwith) with no two alike (see the forgoing parenthetical observation) that comfortably occupy a square (or the smallest square if there are squares of different sizes).

Place all of the objects, or "playing pieces" on the game board in a "starting position". A starting position is defined as any arrangement of the pieces that you can imagine as a reasonable point of departure for a game.

Two are to play. Note that one player (determined by agreement, by lot, or in any manner whatever) establishes the starting position of the pieces.

There is to be no discussion whatever between players as to what constitute the rules of play, etiquette, status of the game's progress, how/when/why a game is concluded, or how the winner (if any) is determined.

Play commences.

Any rules of play, the implications and/or results of one's choices and actions, objectives, etc. are determined spontaneously, in the course of play, by the players themselves, and exist only in those players' imaginations. Commentary, whether between players or to third parties, that would usually occur in the course of play, such as "Brilliant!", "I didn't even see that", or "His noodle is biting my fly, but I think I can still turn things around" are allowed. Only clarifying statements or discussion of either player's "rules", definitions, and assessment of the game are disallowed. However, free discussion of such between players and/or observers is appropriate (though not necessary) following the conclusion of any round of play.

Post game analysis immediately after the fact by expert observers, especially those with no practical experience of the game but in possession of impressive, colorful vocabularies, aggressive personalities, quirky vocal mannerisms and/or affectations, and commercial endorsement contracts for products and/or services bearing no relationship to any of that person's training, knowledge, professional background, or personal achievement are strongly encouraged.

Copyright © 2003 Arthur Jarvinen

proposed board and playing pieces